A College Freshman's Prayer

... I wrote this prayer when I was a freshman, and the finals week is about to come that time.. and because I'm more expressive when it comes to writing,in a scratch paper, I wrote everything that I felt that time....
.... And now that I am aleady a sophomore, every time I read what I wrote a year ago, I am inspired and blessed of how God moves in my life...


10-01-07
past 10:00 pm

Dear Heavenly Father,
Each time of my life, since the day I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I knew that Your name stands at the highest heavens and You’re always worthy to be honored and glorified. All praises shall be to You alone.
Father, You know how thankful I am for Your presence in my everyday life, in everything I do and in every place where I go. I want to thank You for Your guidance, every time I’m facing a difficult situation like deciding on something. Thank You for the people you’ve used for me to be happy. Thank You for the blessings that You are giving me and for Your protection, not only to me but also to my family and to the important persons in my life. And even though I find it difficult to face a brand new day because of the problems on my way, still I thank You because it makes me stronger. Even though I cried too much because of these problems, still I thank You because You always provide the solutions and You help me solve them one by one. Thank You for helping me during exams, for the knowledge You’re giving me and as well as for the answers. Thank You so much every time you made me realize my mistakes and for the comfort every time I am down. Thank You so much for turning my tears into smiles and I really thank You for answering my prayers. For every event in my life, thank You so much for being there. For everything You’ve done, words are not enough to thank You.
And even though I tried to be a good child, still I commit mistakes and I sinned. Forgive me Father, for the times that I disobeyed You. Sorry for the times that I don’t listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling me. I am really sorry if sometimes I forgot to read the Bible and most of the time I don’t pray before I sleep. Sorry for the times when I’ve said offending words to other people. Please forgive me if sometimes I doubt on what You can do and I rely on myself. Forgive me Father, for all my sins and mistakes. I cannot promise not to commit them again, but I’m asking for Your divine guidance and grace so I can avoid committing them and even though I commit one, give me a humble heart and spirit to kneel down before You and accept what I’ve done. Forgive me Father, for all my sins.
Father, I know that of all. You are the only one who knows what’s best for me and my life. For all the events and problems in my life, I trusted You with all those. You know about my situation right now. Father, on what I feel, I don’t think I can still wake up to face a brand new day with a smile because of all those school works that I need to pass before the finals. Father, I don’t know what I’m going to do with the Departmental exams and with the final exams and together with these things are the practice for the “Sabayang Pagbigkas” and Ethnic Dance that will be presented in our Churh Anniversary. Father, please, help me! With just the Research paper in Psyche about the Physiological Basis of Human Behavior, I think I can’t make it, but if I can’t, how will I pass for the Psychology I, and even the work book in College Algebra? Oh my gosh! How will I expect myself to make a very nice book in the subject which I really hate the most? And with my health condition, how am I supposed to do these things successfully? I have cold and cough which really hinders me from reviewing and doing heavy jobs, all my body wants is to rest and sleep but I can’t because if I did, what will happen? I cannot pass the school requirements on time and I can’t review my lessons, so the tendency is I will fail. Father, You know about my dreams and ambitions, and all I’m praying right now is for me to be able to finish all these. I’ve always want to serve You even though I’m studying. Father, hear my cry O. God! When I asked for the healing of my cough and cold, You answered me with Your word in Jeremiah 30:17 which says, “For I will restore You to health, And I will heal you of your wounds”. Father, I trust in Your words. When I asked for Your help because I’m losing my confidence to participate in the Anniversary because I think I can’t make it, You answered me in Your word I Psalms 121:5 and 8 which says, “The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever”. And just this morning when I’m telling you about my school works that I need to do and all those reviewing for the exams, and for the practice, You again answered me in Your word in Jeremiah 33:3 which says, "Call unto Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know”. Father, I’m calling for You right now! I’m casting all my cares upon You. Lord, I know I am Your child. Lord, although I’m losing hope in my own strength, still I will not lose hope on the things that You can do. I’m entrusting everything into Your holy hands. I know that You’ll never leave me nor forsake me.
To You I bring back all the praises and glory, in the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

THE BLESSING OF MEETING, KNOWING AND ADMIRING YOU

Admiring a guy, that’s one of my weaknesses in my teenage life. I grew up in an environment where guys and men don’t live an honest life. Since I was a child, a certain truth was already fixed in my mind. All men are the same. I didn’t think or realize that there will still be an incident that will change that fact. I did not expect it, not until I met a guy like you. Things began to change. Little by little, my perceptions about guys are being change.
You have the looks, the brilliant ideas in your mind, the physique, the attitude and lastly, the heart. Meeting someone like you was not an accident for me to be surprised, but the thing that surprised me was to know that there is still a guy existing and possessing the characteristics that you possess. And admiring you or should I say starting to admire you; to include you in my thoughts and prayers are the things which I can’t really control, that’s why I said that it’s one of my weaknesses.
I went into a serious talk with the Master, begging, for Him to remove this feeling if it’s not really from Him. I tried my best to forget you; your smile, the way you talk and the way you approach people and all other things that reminds me of you. Of all the ways I tried, I still can’t do it.
We can’t be friends and I must be contented of the “hellos” I’m receiving from you. You have your own world, your own spotlight and your own circle of friends and I can’t be included with them. For me you’re a star; a million miles away from me, so I must be happy seeing you from a far. Despite the distance that separates your world from my world, I hope that someday, God will allow a situation in our lives, for you to go down in my world and me to reach your world, on that moment; I wish that our paths will cross and you will notice a simple girl like me. We have the same beliefs, the same kind of faith and the same joy shared in God’s kingdom; the only difference is that, we are placed in two different worlds.
I don’t regret the moment when I met you and got the chance of knowing you better, I’m even thankful that God changed that fixed idea in my mind, and He showed me that guys who belong to His kingdom are different.

_dedicated to Mr... kapangalan ng matapang na kabataan na pumatay kay Goliat.. heheh.._

WAS IT REALLY GOODBYE?

a true-to-imagination story..heheh



It was a very fine day. The sun is shining brightly and the fresh air is blowing gently. It seems to be a very perfect day. She was sitting on the grass, looking up silently in the sky, she told herself, “the memories of the past were still fresh, as if it just happened yesterday”. She closed her eyes and tried to reminisce the past.
Once in her life, she fell in love, got hurt and had shed so many tears. It was an experience worth crying for and worth remembering.
It was a gloomy day and the sky is filled with clouds, but still the day didn’t affect the true feeling which they feel for each other. Matt was ready to tell Anne what he really feel and he is ready to face the consequences that will come on their way. They were sitting beside each other when Matt finally had the courage to say, “Anne, I love you. Let’s face tomorrow together”. Anne was a bit shocked but she was happy because she waited long enough to hear those words from him. She smiled and answered, “I love you too. Let’s help each other build a nice relationship. They smiled and hug each other tight. That time, raindrops began to fall and they were wet with the blessings of God. It was the start of the nice relationship they once wished to have; the beginning of the love, the love they kept for so long and now it’s in each other’s heart.
They studied hard; each other became their inspiration, their family and God who showed them that prayers really work. Having a serious relationship was not that easy but they help each other to fulfill their obligations to their family, in school and to God. Each day of their lives were full of memories and events of the true love they shared.
Days have passed and even though they shared lots of happy moments with each other, still there were things which are not meant to stay with them forever.
It seems to be a perfect day. They were in each others arms in a beautiful grassland with lots of flowers and trees. It’s as if the day wants to join with their happiness being with each other in that kind of place. But, was it really happiness?
Matt, who was trying to weigh every second said, “Anne, you know how much I love you and you’ll always be part of my dreams. It’s really hard, but I need to leave…” Hearing those most painful words, tears started rolling from her eyes, she answered, “I love you too and I’ll never stop loving you. I really hate to let you go but I don’t want to be a hindrance for you to follow your dreams. You must leave because your dreams are waiting for you there”. It was not easy for him to hear those words from her, “but Anne, I promise to…” “Stop it, Matt”. Anne interrupted. “Don’t leave me with your promises. I want you to concentrate on fulfilling your dreams there. I’m setting you free. If the time comes that you already reached your dream and you still remember me, I’ll still be here, I’ll still be here”.
He wiped the tears falling from her eyes and hugged her tight; never want to let her go. “I’ll miss you Anne, definitely. Can… can I kiss you for the last time?” Instead of answering, she closed her eyes and waited. She felt that tender, gentle kiss full of love. It was all in that kiss; the love they felt for each other, the love they once shared and now the love they need to set free. When their lips parted, a new chapter in their life is waiting for them.
She could not stand any longer, so she sat on the grass, still her tears falling. “Anne”, Matt called. She got up and said, “No, Matt. I don’t want to hear your goodbyes. All I need is to hug you one last time and I’m sure I’ll be fine. She went near him and hugged him tight. For the last time she said, “May God bless you, Matt. Take care of yourself there. Don’t forget to pray always”. After saying those words, she ran away as fast as she could without knowing where to go.
“Anne...!” he shouted, but the sight of her was gone.
She heard him calling her name but she didn’t bother to look back. It was over, there’s a new chapter of their lives waiting for them now.
Anne opened her eyes and wiped her tears. Now she had grown into a lady; a successful CPA. It was four years ago since that event in her life happened, but still she was still hoping that one day, their paths will meet again and they’ll form new memories together.
“I LOVE YOU, Matt. I’ve never stop loving you”.

_the names of the characters are just invented.. for some complicated reasons.. hahah_

A good beginning, to what end?

A good beginning, to what end?

Ever since we’ve met each other
We have shared memories together
That in each of us was kept
Even if by time it was easily swept.

I’ve tried my best to forget everything,
‘Cause you’re done with that simple thing.
But in me, it already stayed in touch
And the pain was really too much.

As time passes by, our worlds become farther
That each time we see each other,
It shows that the memories have already ended
Both feelings, with difficulty already surrendered.

I’m living in a fantasy world
With lots of imaginations and dreams to hold
And you are, in truth and reality
All things are easy to be a history.

Let’s both decide to try
To smile and stop the cry
And wait for God to set
The second time that we’ll meet… again.

_done in between tears..
heheh.. for a high school crush, whom I had admired so much..
I wrote this poem when I was 16, and now I'm 18.. and things were really different..
but one thing will never change, "you will always have a special place in my heart".