Thanks to you ^^

Actually, this is a song shared with me by a special friend. Well, after that moment, this song has inspired me to move on and live life the way it should be. There are a lot of struggles, trials and obstacles that will come your way, but if you have God in your life and a dear friend who will stay close to you no matter what, life is worth living. =)

Hold by Superchick


Tell me that it's gonna be okay

Tell me that you'll help me find my way

Tell me you can see the light of dawn is breaking

Tell me that it's gonna be all right

Tell me that you'll help me fight this fight

Tell me that you won't leave me alone in this



'Cause I need I need a hand to hold

To hold me from the edge

The edge I'm sliding over slowly

Cause I need I need your hand to hold To hold me from the edge



The edge I'm sliding past Hold on to me

Tell me I can make it through this day

I don't even have the words to pray

You have been the only one who never left me

Help me find the way through all my fears

Help me see the light through all my tears

Help me see that I am not alone in this



'Cause I need I need a hand to hold

To hold me from the edge

The edge I'm sliding over slowly

Cause I need I need your hand to hold To hold me from the edge



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Thank You, Lord for everything...



and for giving me a friend like 'him'.. <3

THE EXPLANATION :)

I am not so prepared to explain things but I'll try my best to point things out, so as to avoid much confusion. Someone is questioning why my last post was followed by a post after a year.. the gap was too long according to that 'person'. Well, to be honest, I love writing so much. Deep within me, there's always that earnest desire to share things through paper and pen. When I write, I feel I'm in my own simple world. When I entered College and I took up Psychology, I was so frustrated. I've always wanted a course in writing. Little by little, I lose hope and I almost reach a point in my life when I don't want to write though in my heart I know that it's the real 'me' craving for freedom. I didn't join any writing organization to extend the agony more. But one day, I met someone who changed my point of view. He encouraged me to write though I can't see my works published. It's passion. He started to help be brought back the confidence I lost before. I was about to throw all my works then, even my writing materials. I also wanted to give up reading, though it's really what I wanted to do. Now, I see a clearer view of things. I want to write and express myself because this is my world and this is the real me. God has given me this gift, and given any opportunity to share it and to be used to bring glory to His name, it must and must always be. :)

This blog of mine has very followers..really few because none of my friends know this, only some close ones. In this world, I found freedom. :D

EACH ONE HAS HIS OR HER OWN DECISION TO MAKE. :))

The last Worker's Camp was the best ever...of all the previous that I have attended. God is really serious with regards to what He wants His children to do. Everyone experienced His move and I believe that each one has his or her own story to tell and share.. a day won't be enough to recall and narrate everything. I, too have somethings to say but aside from that, I will always and forever be grateful to Him for who He is, in my life and in everyone's life. Almost all of us said that the two and a half days were not enough but truly God moved in His mysterious ways, fulfilling the real purpose of the gathering. Yes, we were in a recreation site, but also a time to spend more with Him, know Him more, keep our hearts silent before Him and listen to Him more. It was not less of Him... but more and more of Him. What each and everyone has experienced were truly unforgettable, but as our dear Elders, Pastors and Leaders had always said, "After this what's next?" "The real battle starts right after you went down from this place and return on our own respective sphere of influence.." As the Word of God always reminds and keeps on reminding everyone of us, "...to whom much is given, much is required.." It's for us now to decide. Are we going to let everything that we have heard and known stay only with us, or are we going to act the way God wants us to?"

May God bless us all. <3

IMPROMTU :D

"This is live. I don't have any draft with me right at this moment. I want to express what I really feel today. I don't know how I will organize my thoughts; which one will be the first, the next, or the last. I don't care. I just knew that I need to write this down. Wow... this will not be easy for me, but I know that it will be a big help."

I am tired of my everyday routine. I am stressed, exhausted and pressured but there's one thing that keeps me going, and it is God's sufficient grace and never ending love. Despite of the negative things that I feel and I see each waking moment of everyday, I am grateful that there are still many things that can be reasons to smile and laugh. I thank God for giving me such wonderful friends and for allowing me to meet such nice people; personally or technically. (hahaha) :D

What I want to share this moment is what I feel towards someone, whom I considered special. I admired him before. This guy made me feel different, and special. I end up assuming that he feels the same, but then, he doesn't. In other words, I was hurt. I find it hard to move on. Every time I remember that scenario, I pity myself. I cried a lot... but he didn't know what I've been through because, obviously, he doesn't care. For me, if he cared enough, he will make things clearer and not leave me hanging. Well, that was before.

During the process of moving on, there was someone who lend his ears for my complains. He spend his precious time comforting me. He's a really good friend. I may say, that he's one of the reasons why I had gained the courage to let go. He made me realize lots of things. Now, we've been close. He had done things that really made me smile, the sweetest smile. I never imagined that he will sing me songs to lift me up during those moments when I was so down and hopeless. Of course, this guy is not aware of what he's causing me to feel. One thing that disturbs me is that... he's a living memory of someone who broke my heart in the past. I am perplexed. I always believe that 'the heart can be taught.' He may not be the person I liked or I admired before, but now, I think I am falling for him. I do not want to complicate things. We're friends and I do not want to waste what we have. I also think that it's impossible that he'll fall for me. I always believe on the irony of life, 'you like or you admire the person who does not like you but you refuse that someone who longs for your attention'. I do not know when will be the time that the one whom I admire will also feel the same way. I will consider the fact that he also admire other girls, and who knows if he's committed? (ouch!)so there's no reason for me to tolerate this kind of feeling. Today... or tonight, I am determined to control whatever special feeling I have for him, so that our friendship will be saved, not unless the feeling is mutual. :)

It hurts, again but I will just inspire myself with the passage that I read from a book, "...love liberates." -The Fifth Mountain. I will love him, care for him and pray for him without him knowing it. I don't also need his permission to miss him and I can think of him any moment of the day. <3

"This ends my drama... hoping that tomorrow, I'll be fine ^^
Good night."

At the end of the day, I will still run to You.. ^^

I can't cry though I know that I can't carry the burdens inside this heart full of worries and fears that spring up just these past few days..

I should have come to You immediately for help.. but I allowed some things to hinder me.. so I end up confused.. so helpless.. so down, that I thought I was left alone.. with no one but myself..

These past few days were unexplainable.. so tiring, I don't even know if I'll still have the strength to get up the next day..

I sleep, keeping all the thoughts to myself.. I wake up, trying to face the day with a brand new me, pretending to be okay.. but I'm not.

But just this morning, I decided to fight the part of me who thinks I can go on like this forever..

I decided to come before You... humbly, so empty, so broken..

I was surprised that tears don't flow from my eyes though inside, I really know I'm crying..

but right there and then, I realized.. REPRESSION.

I placed uncomfortable thoughts in relatively inaccessible areas of my subconscious mind. Thus when things occur that I am unable to cope with now, I push them away, either planning to deal with them at another time or hoping that they will fade away on their own accord.

As I kept myself silent before You, You made me realize a lot of things..

then You comforted me with Your love letter in

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths,you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

After meditating on this words, tears began fooding my eyes,

while sobbing, You guided me to the answers of the questions hidden at some deep parts of me..

You taught me how to accept and understand what I had experienced those situations during the past few days..

You healed the wounds.. and took the pain away..

When my eyes were washed, You allowed me to see the clearer vision of things..

Words can never be enough to thank You for being so ever faithful, ever thoughtful, and ever loving.. despite of my flaws, my weaknesses, my failures and my disobediences...

and I am also thankful for those special people who had been with me on those moments.. for the ones who prayed.. I may not know who they are.. but I am confident that You will be the One to bless them more.. to the family You allowed me to belong, they may be questioning my actions thru their stares and though I keep silent, they understood.

All the days of my life, I will forever stand in awe of Your great mercy and love for mankind. <3

..alone..

I will always appreciate those who tried to understand.. though they don't know the real story behind.. hehe

I can smile because of You ^^

I will be here :))

I'll live my days for YOU :))

Who am I?

I'm special. In all the world there's nobody like me. Since the beginning of time, there has never been another person like me. Nobody has my smile. Nobody has my eyes, my nose, my hair, my hands, my voice. I'm special.

No one can be found who has my handwriting. Nobody anywhere has my tastes....for food or music or art. No one sees things just as I do.

In all of time, there's been no one who laughs like me, no one who cries like me. And what makes me laugh and cry will never provoke identical laughter and tears from anybody else...ever. No one reacts to any situation just as I would react. I'm special.

I'm the only one in all of creation who has my set of abilities. Oh, there will always be somebody who is better at one of the things I'm good at, but no one in the universe can reach the quality of my combination of talents, ideas, abilities and feelings. Like a room full of musical instruments, some may excel alone, but none can match the symphony sound when all are played together. I'm a symphony.

Through all of eternity no one will ever look, talk, walk, think or do like me. I'm special. I'm rare. And in all rarity there is great value. Because of my great rare value, I need not attempt to imitate others. I will accept...yes...celebrate my differences.

I'm special. And I'm beginning to realize it's no accident that I am. I'm beginning to see that God made me special for a very special purpose. HE must have a job for me that no one else can do as well as I. Out of all the billions of applicants, only one is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes.

I am God's well kept woman.. I am His treasure..Ü

A College Freshman's Prayer

... I wrote this prayer when I was a freshman, and the finals week is about to come that time.. and because I'm more expressive when it comes to writing,in a scratch paper, I wrote everything that I felt that time....
.... And now that I am aleady a sophomore, every time I read what I wrote a year ago, I am inspired and blessed of how God moves in my life...


10-01-07
past 10:00 pm

Dear Heavenly Father,
Each time of my life, since the day I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I knew that Your name stands at the highest heavens and You’re always worthy to be honored and glorified. All praises shall be to You alone.
Father, You know how thankful I am for Your presence in my everyday life, in everything I do and in every place where I go. I want to thank You for Your guidance, every time I’m facing a difficult situation like deciding on something. Thank You for the people you’ve used for me to be happy. Thank You for the blessings that You are giving me and for Your protection, not only to me but also to my family and to the important persons in my life. And even though I find it difficult to face a brand new day because of the problems on my way, still I thank You because it makes me stronger. Even though I cried too much because of these problems, still I thank You because You always provide the solutions and You help me solve them one by one. Thank You for helping me during exams, for the knowledge You’re giving me and as well as for the answers. Thank You so much every time you made me realize my mistakes and for the comfort every time I am down. Thank You so much for turning my tears into smiles and I really thank You for answering my prayers. For every event in my life, thank You so much for being there. For everything You’ve done, words are not enough to thank You.
And even though I tried to be a good child, still I commit mistakes and I sinned. Forgive me Father, for the times that I disobeyed You. Sorry for the times that I don’t listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling me. I am really sorry if sometimes I forgot to read the Bible and most of the time I don’t pray before I sleep. Sorry for the times when I’ve said offending words to other people. Please forgive me if sometimes I doubt on what You can do and I rely on myself. Forgive me Father, for all my sins and mistakes. I cannot promise not to commit them again, but I’m asking for Your divine guidance and grace so I can avoid committing them and even though I commit one, give me a humble heart and spirit to kneel down before You and accept what I’ve done. Forgive me Father, for all my sins.
Father, I know that of all. You are the only one who knows what’s best for me and my life. For all the events and problems in my life, I trusted You with all those. You know about my situation right now. Father, on what I feel, I don’t think I can still wake up to face a brand new day with a smile because of all those school works that I need to pass before the finals. Father, I don’t know what I’m going to do with the Departmental exams and with the final exams and together with these things are the practice for the “Sabayang Pagbigkas” and Ethnic Dance that will be presented in our Churh Anniversary. Father, please, help me! With just the Research paper in Psyche about the Physiological Basis of Human Behavior, I think I can’t make it, but if I can’t, how will I pass for the Psychology I, and even the work book in College Algebra? Oh my gosh! How will I expect myself to make a very nice book in the subject which I really hate the most? And with my health condition, how am I supposed to do these things successfully? I have cold and cough which really hinders me from reviewing and doing heavy jobs, all my body wants is to rest and sleep but I can’t because if I did, what will happen? I cannot pass the school requirements on time and I can’t review my lessons, so the tendency is I will fail. Father, You know about my dreams and ambitions, and all I’m praying right now is for me to be able to finish all these. I’ve always want to serve You even though I’m studying. Father, hear my cry O. God! When I asked for the healing of my cough and cold, You answered me with Your word in Jeremiah 30:17 which says, “For I will restore You to health, And I will heal you of your wounds”. Father, I trust in Your words. When I asked for Your help because I’m losing my confidence to participate in the Anniversary because I think I can’t make it, You answered me in Your word I Psalms 121:5 and 8 which says, “The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever”. And just this morning when I’m telling you about my school works that I need to do and all those reviewing for the exams, and for the practice, You again answered me in Your word in Jeremiah 33:3 which says, "Call unto Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know”. Father, I’m calling for You right now! I’m casting all my cares upon You. Lord, I know I am Your child. Lord, although I’m losing hope in my own strength, still I will not lose hope on the things that You can do. I’m entrusting everything into Your holy hands. I know that You’ll never leave me nor forsake me.
To You I bring back all the praises and glory, in the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen.